Give me a smile, sugar
by TurtleMandoragon
Summary: Tony's still a rich smartass;Loki's still a holier than thou brit asshole. They bond over margaritas (hold the margarita and hand over the fucking vodka)Overnight they're the sensation of the internet Jesus Christ what happened. Alternatively: Tony wants into Bruce's pants, Loki wants Thor in his. They bond, and that's probably not in anyone's best interests. Bruce/Tony Thor/Loki


Tony isn't quite sure how he feels at this moment. Well, to be perfectly honest, he does. It's something along the lines of a happy hum in his head, which let's face it, isn't exactly surprising considering what he's been doing for the past... wait how many hours?

Grunting, he squints at his phone, pointedly ignoring the concerned sounds of Jarvis through his comm.

 _Christ, it's only 11:28pm why the fuck isn't this day over yet._

"Hey, buddy, gimme another tequila," he motions to the bartender, "and don't even bother trying to dilute it with your frozen H2O I'm paying for your tuition." He winks at the girl, who does colour a little.

And well, yeah Tony did feel a little better. He knew he was attractive. Everyone did, actually. Yes, Tony Stark was fuckin hot, and with the records to show. Not to mention, he was smart too. Runs his own business too, even at the tender age of 18- barely an adult but enjoyed the liberty to its excess.

Hey, better to go big then go home, _amirite?_

The glass is right in front of him, and he's just about to get it when it's swiped from him. His neck whips around so fast he feels the whiplash. There's some sort of snippy remark ready to fly until he catches sight of those azure irises and recognises that look.

"Oh. Oh, I'm so sorry." He doesn't really sound like it.

"You don't sound it."

The stranger grimaces, and yes, Tony understands that this is a brother in arms. So he scoots over, takes out a black card and gives it to the stunned bargirl.

"Drinks for me and my buddy until we're about to die of alcohol poisoning." He drawls, "And don't worry, I promise your son gets to go to a properly facilitated school."

The drinks have never been served so fast.

* * *

"- and it's not like I don't know I'm **attractive** , I mean I _see_ the looks people send me-"

"... Cannot believe he blew me off for some bitch, I'm his best friend-"

"Christ just because he's my adopted brother doesn't mean I can't like him ok do you know how much I've been through just seeing him in basically his birthday suit-"

"-Even if I just want him goddamn, why does he think I let him touch my stuff, I _never_ let anyone touch my fucking stuff!"

"He's obtuse as a brick."

"Wait, whut?" Tony slurs, as he watches this stranger.. Oki? Pony? _Wait no that's an animal_ \- **Loki** , riiiight. Electric blue eyes are a bit blurry, and a hand runs through his dark hair. He's pretty, Tony thinks, but he knows that this isn't anything romantic- if anything, he'd die to have to high cut cheeks. Who knows, Bruce might actually want him then-

 _Fuck, he's drunk and he doesn't quite give a shit_

"Men, I mean. I don't mean your... your... friend?"

"Best friend."

"Lordy, I'm so sorry man."

Loki has actual traces of apology in his tone. Not that Tony really minds because yeah, he's figured out why they're both drinking and getting high at the same time and god this is going to kill him tomorrow morning.

At that time, phone buzzes and he knows who it is because there's only three people he'd actually give his private number to; and only one that bothers to call at this time. There's another drink in front of him, and though he can feel his head screaming that this is a bad idea he can't quite give two fucks.

Neither can Loki, apparently

"To fuckall and everything in between."

"Cheers, man."

* * *

The next morning arrives too fast, _too soon_ and Tony can actually feel himself dying in his own head. "Turn off the fucking lights." He groans weakly, voice pathetic as he tries to brush away the pain. There's a crick in his neck, and a dead weight on his stomach.

"Oh god, I've lost my legs, damn the tequila."

"Don't be such a drama queen," A gentle voice floats through the air, and Tony must be dreaming or dead and in heaven because he loves that voice. "and that's not the light, that's the sun."

"Brucey? _Brucey bear is that you_?" Tony blinks, trying not to wince at the sharp pain through his head.

"No, unfortunately, I sent Mr. Banner to school, sir."- yep, that's definitely not Bruce Banner. Huh, he must've hallucinated. Jarvis sounds nothing like his best friend- Even if Tony is biased.

"Cockblocker."

"It would seem that you've already ah, how to say, 'gotten some', last night sir."

Vision a bit clearer, Tony looks down, expecting the worst. Nope, nothings gone, and his pants are still on- it's a miracle. Except he remembers the person still sprawled over his torso, and flashbacks from last night are coming back. He sighs, a bit in relief, and wriggles out to take a shower.

"Don't be an ass, Jarvis. And, if you could wake him up and get him washed up in half an hour it'd be nice."

"Understood, sir."

* * *

It's about an hour later that they're both sober enough, nursing their hangovers with coffee and bagels that they actually ready to have a proper conversation. Tony takes in his appearance, and realizes the man is far prettier than he remembers.

"Damn, you've got nice collarbones dude."

Loki blinks.

"Oh, um... Thank you?"

"Not in a creepy way, just that _I_ don't have nice collarbones."

"You're _plenty_ attractive yourself." Blue eyes twinkle a bit, and they both burst into laughter.

"Well, at least this isn't an awkward morning after." Loki says after a pause. Tony nods, and grabs a pancake off the other's plate. He's starving. "It's not like we did anything," he shrugs, "well, nothing even near second base, I think we may have touched hands." Loki chuckles, and finally starts to dig in.

Without glancing at the clock, Tony knows he has about an hour before classes start. He wonders how old the blue-eyed man is, but doesn't ask. Instead, he steals sip from the man's juice, and grins at his dismay.

"So in celebration of being best friends, you're welcome over anytime."

They lift their forks of syrupy pancake in salute.

A nice silence follows, until Jarvis cuts in, hesitant.

"Sir, Mr. Loki, in regards to last night..."

* * *

When they're both in the car, there's a hushed silence.

Then Tony **giggles.**

And suddenly, it's all raucous laughter because wow, exactly what the fuck happened last night? They don't remember jack shit, but somehow the whole world knows- hell, they're on youtube and twitter and it's a storm of online excitement.

" _Oh my god_ , I look like such a tart." Loki chokes, his grin stretching so wide it hurts. A cackle emerges from Tony, who watches himself dressed as a pope on the screen, singing the cover of 'Call me maybe' as Loki, god, he's got clothes but those pants are tight and hide nothing. They're on some sort of car roof, and there's fire on the lawn, hey is that the White House? And is that Loki getting money put into his pockets?

This is the most fuckin fun Tony thinks he's had, considering most of his escapades have ended in tears, and never calling them again. Speaking of calls... he glances at his phone.

 _'Tony, please tell me you were drunk please.'_ –Ms. Potts obviously

'Duuuuude what were you smoking, that's trippy as fuck. Who's the new kid?' –Rhodey

 _'Stark what weed did you get and where can I find some?'_ –Clint

'Don't give your dealer's number to Clint I will kill you. I'm still going to kill you, what happened to 'low profile' during college?' –Romanov

 _'/insert disapproval face/'_ –Rogers

'Motherfuckers.' –Fury

'Tony-' –Bruce

But Tony turns the phone off, and even though he knows Bruce is going to be so disappointed that he took drugs- and drugs are bad for you do you know- Shit, get out of his head Dr. Bruce it's too early for a the voice kink. "This is legendary." Loki breathes, scrolling down to see the comments, not even bothered by the fact the internet knows his beautiful collarbones. And ass. And.. yeah god those pants looked so good. On reflection of it all, it was probably because they were so high at the time that they were finding this the funniest shit rather than mortifying.

 _(Also Tony doesn't give a fuck about things in general. Except maybe Bruce, and his tech. And Pepper. Rhodey too, and the lame Avengers club he joined. And now Loki.)_

Eh, consequences can come later.

Flaunting the glory can first

So with that in mind, Tony turns to his amused chauffeur and using his best sing-song voice, he chirps:

 _"Happy, be a darling and take us to school."_


End file.
